Reclaimed Splurges for my Birthday

Last week, in honor of my own pending birthday, I made a pledge to myself to stop consuming new things until I stopped and enjoyed what I already have. So, therefore, day 1 of My New Life happened to be my birthday- a day not traditionally spent depriving oneself of little indulgences.

So, I have to say, that within 5 minutes of waking up, I was beginning to feel a bit depressed. Let me add that I woke up (alone, due to an out-of-town husband) to a child confessing to wetting the bed. Ah, luxury.

My attitude alone could have sabotaged the entire day, but once my head cleared, I was determined to make this a fantastic one- it was just a matter of finding my hidden “birthday gifts” within my own possessions. It took a while to get the hang of it, but what followed was truly a grace-filled, precious day of blessings.

My indulgent morning started with a stack of unread magazines, a travel mug of coffee, and a sadly underused treehouse- my private café! I then went to the spa, also known as my neglected gym. Instead of heading to the weights, I swam laps in the pool before actually taking the time to use the steam room, sauna, and hot tub. On the way home, instead of driving by my friend Jodi’s house, I stopped and knocked on the door. In our 20-minute visit, my loneliness was completely gone.

I indulged at lunch by actually taking the time to make myself a tomato and bread salad, all made from ingredients I was about to throw out. Dinner was a frozen pizza- an indulgence in calories and workload, as my kids ate it, too.

It may not sound like much, but I really had a great birthday. Best of all, the “gifts” I gave myself can be enjoyed again, now that I know they are there! Taking 10 minutes to sit in a tree house, read a magazine, visit a friend, relax in the sauna, or make a decent meal for myself are things I should always be doing…and I never would have had I given myself a more traditional alternative for treating myself.

How many other gifts in our lives are we passing by?

-TWM

A season of living on what I already have

How can I be surrounded by clutter and yet grab my keys to go shopping?

After living almost a year in blissful happiness despite, and I argue, because of my husband losing his job, I fear I have lost my frugal touch now that I have gained some financial security.

My birthday is tomorrow, and while I’m not changing age brackets or decades, I’m close enough to one of those milestones that this birthday has gotten my attention. And I know that my current spending and…wow I hate this word…consuming habits are not where they should be.

Last year, when I was faced with the choice of panicking or thriving in the face of financial restrictions, I found an amazing freedom in choosing to see abundance where others might see depravity.

It’s time to do it again, and starting with my filthy, cluttered house is as good of a place as any.

As a birthday present to myself, my Earth, and my family, I am taking a public vow to use, share, and/or thoughtfully donate everything in my possession before acquiring and consuming anything new.

I hope to meet several goals in doing this:

1. Recapture my ability to recognize and appreciate the things I already have.

2. Pass this ability onto my children, who have been complete spoiled brats recently - probably all my fault.

3. Live out that fabulous cliché to “live simply so others can simply live” – I plan to do something special and meaningful with the money and waste saved from this experiment, and inspire others (including my ungrateful children) to do the same.

Hopefully, this journey into my own closets, pantry, garage, and conscience will reveal the abundance around me, and all of us, in its many forms. If we can all start with using what we already have, then sharing our gifts with others will be a natural, sustainable extension of what the universe put in our stewardship.

And we’ll save tons of money.

More "Play", fewer "Dates"

After 2 weeks of having my children at home over the Winter Break, in which I spent countless hours and I-don’t-even-want-to-count-how-much money keeping my kids entertained, enriched, and enlightened, I received a panicky phone call from school asking me to pick all the kids up NOW due to a water main break.

And so they’re back. Home. With me.

Except this time, they are not alone- I brought 5 elementary school refugees home with me, too. That’s 8 kids for those of us counting, which I have to do every few minutes now. There- I’m back- all accounted for.

8 kids, no car big enough to take them anywhere, 1 parent, and no plan.

And kids having the time of their lives-and it’s only costing me a pitcher of lemonade and a plate of cookies.

This emergency-induced kid party has served as an instant reminder for all of us: Plans cost money and energy, but just being available for friends can be better- and free.

So many of us (myself included) schedule our entire weeks according to “up” and “down” time: “up time” being scheduled events, including social events a Play Dates, and “down time”, which is usually solitary recovery from all of the “up time.”

And because planned social events are PLANNED and EVENTS, there’s pressure to BE something. And that drains us, no matter how much we like the people we are with.

But spontaneously opening our doors to a friend? That’s worth clearing our calendars for. Let’s all plan to have fewer plans this year. Don’t worry- someone will knock on our door, and we’ll have something to do, though have less to prove.

-TWM

Creating A New Year's Mission Statement

It’s almost December 31st, and if you’re a compulsive list-maker like me, you are in the process of making up your New Year’s Resolutions. Actually, I enjoy this exercise so much that I celebrate New Year’s Resolution Time twice a year- once in January, and once in September, at the beginning of the new academic year. And yes, they are usually the same, year after year, and like the rest of the world, are usually forgotten or broken by 11am January 1st (or the day after Labor Day!)

Most experts say that the key to keeping resolutions is to make just one, and make it your highest priority. And that is the key to efficiency, which is my number one priority this year: sticking to one goal, and making everything in your life streamline toward it.

But I have so many things I want to do better this year, ranging from health to finance to specific ‘bucket list” things I’ve been putting off. One “thing” cannot encompass it all.

But how about a “mission statement”? What if, instead of checklist-type resolutions, we all sat down and tried to come up with one clear, catchy statement that would express what we really wanted out of 2010?

A single mission statement’s greatest gift is simple: focus. As in a company, any activity outside that statement means you’re getting off track. Mission statements help prioritize daily activities, remind us of what we know we should be doing anyway, and are flexible enough to incorporate unexpected opportunities and challenges that arise during the year.

And perhaps most importantly, a “mission” indicates a path, not an achievement that is gained, lost, or “broken.”

Defining our mission this year is going to lead to less waste in our time, spending, and opportunities: if something helps our mission, it’s in. If not, it’s out. We can stop chasing rabbits down holes all year and focus on what we have predetermined is important.

So let’s do it- be people on a mission this year. I’d love to hear yours.

And for the record, so it’ll be in print, here is mine:

To fully utilize and appreciate all that has been given to me, and desire nothing more.

-TWM

A Time to Write and a Time to Play

I've been playing this summer.

After the first week at home, with no camps, sitters, or exotic trips immediately on the horizon, I decided to put writing on hold for a bit and concentrate on making this summer as wonderful as possible for the kids. And it has been wonderful.

Because we live in Virginia, my kids still have quite a few weeks to go before starting school - therefore, my "finish line" is not quite here.

I've mentioned before that I believe in, and crave, "seasons", and feel that the key to full efficiency and appreciation of life is to fully live in one you are given before moving onto the next. This has been my season to play, relax, plan, and think....and embrace, rather than resent, the constant need for my attention still craved by my all-too-quickly-growing-up-kids.

In a few weeks, they will all be in elementary school...all of them! That is my season to write.

And I have so much to write about- my husband's new job (hooray!), his constant travel (not so hooray, but not without some meaningful and interesting perks to our lives and marriage), my own successes and failures in occupying the kids on the cheap for 12 solid weeks, and the catch-22 of suddenly being able to spend a little money after having saved for so long.

I have a lot to write about.

So thank you for sticking with me, and I promise I'll be around more from now on. I may have some exciting changes coming down the way, and I'll take you with me.

And I hope that you have also had a summer where you have allowed yourself a holiday from at least one "should" and embraced one "can" that's only around for this season.

If not, you still have time. Especially if you live in Virginia.

-TWM