A Place for Your Treasures to Go...To Others

A few years ago, a friend of my mother’s inherited a gigantic, gorgeous house in Atlanta, complete with ballroom, manicured gardens, solarium, and…tons and tons of stuff inside it- too much stuff for her to ever use, but stuff too nice to just toss into a Goodwill bag.

So, as part of her redecorating, she made an entire basement room filled with nothing but shelves. For the next year, as she moved in, she carefully organized and filled those shelves with the extra contents of that home. For every year since, she has given gifts almost exclusively from that room, and they are famous for their quality and thoughtfulness.

While few of us will ever inherit such a house, most of us have acquired things over the years that, while perhaps not useful to us, could be perfect for someone else. What if we found a special place in our home where these extra treasures could be organized and stored until the rightful owner came along?

Lest we be accused of simply re-gifting our junk, we can also use this storage area for gifts we purchase throughout the year. If we have a place to put it, we can buy it now and always be prepared for any birth, birthday, or illness – for a fraction of the time and cost.

My “gift storage room” the space under my basement stairs, and my “shelves” are a series of large, labeled bins, and are organized according to type of giving opportunity: Boy Birthday; Girl Birthday; Baby; Illness (lots of Tupperware here!); women’s shelters (jewelry, toiletries, unused makeup, etc); kid’s school (used books and stuffed animals for the annual fundraiser; extra school supplies…); family (Birthday and Christmas gifts go here).

You get the idea- each of our categories will be different, as will be each of our organization and storage methods. But regardless, by taking this extra step of organizing our surplus rather than hastily donating a mixed bag of unmatched items to Goodwill or regifting in a pinch, we can ensure that nothing we have goes wasted or unappreciated. Rather, it will simply find it's true home.

-TWM

"You Know Where the Bakery Is?"

I must have been in a very giving mood when all those sign-up sheets were passed around at the beginning of the school year. According to my email inbox, I signed up for every holiday volunteer opportunity possible – especially baking requests. Me. Bake.

The latest “friendly reminder” email came into my iPhone while I was waiting for a class at the gym. Apparently alarmed by the change in my breathing and appearance, my favorite work-out partner, a 90-year-old dynamo from New York, asked what was wrong. One minute and a thousand words later, I had explained the reasons for my stress.

She had one question: “You know where the bakery is?”

Huh. Yeah, I did.

I got rid of more than just my stress level by taking this amazing woman’s advice and going to the bakery (or buying slice-and-bake, as I ended up doing). I also let go of my ego.

The only reason I had for wanting to bake *homemade* cookies was not because I thought they’d be more appreciated by my 7-year-old clientele, but because I wanted people to say “wow- these are great cookies!” to my face, and “how does she do it all?” behind my back. Now, no one is going to say either of these, but the cookies will still be enjoyed, and that’s the point.

So let’s all look at our remaining holiday to-do list and see where our ego can be removed to make way for a more efficient, yet still excellent, final product. If the smile will be just as big on someone’s face by doing it the easy way, for Heaven’s sake, do it.

It just may put the smile back on yours!

-TWM

In Praise of Bad Days

We have had a terrible day. Today, our family dog, “Cooper”, had to be put to sleep. Yes, he was old and in pain, but I’d known him for longer than I’d known my oldest child. He was my firstborn, and my beloved only child for years. Then, when my oldest human child was diagnosed with asthma, we had to send Cooper away to live with my parents. That may have been the hardest parental sacrifice I’ve made to date. And now he’s gone, and I wasn’t there to say goodbye.

Yes, it’s been a bad day. Sure, people have had worse- much, much worse, but it was still pretty crappy. So, needless to say, I didn’t feel much like writing today, and thought it would surely be a waste of time anyway.

But then I realized that maybe this is exactly the kind of time in which I should write. Exactly the kind of time when some of the greatest masterpieces, epiphanies, and feats of courage and greatness have occurred-during the bad days. Every war seems to inspire fabulous volumes of poetry, literature, art, and music. Most major religions were founded during “times of troubles”.

Come to think of it, even the most appreciated art itself seems to be about bad times…and what people do about them. Heck, everyone knows a comedic film is incapable of winning an Oscar- we need war, addiction, infidelity, illness, pain, poverty, paralysis, death.

So what is so special about pain?

Pain draws people together. Success, happiness, contentment, talent, health…they’re what we all desire, but they can actually separate us from each other. They can foster resentment in others and self-centeredness in yourself.

But pain? That’s something we can all relate to, and something that forces us to need each other. It equalizes us, humanizes us, and humbles us.

The great ones are those who recognize this fact and put it to good use. Instead of ignoring the emotions, burying the memories, or building up walls, they feel and think their way through it until it can be explained and expressed in a way that reaches others.

The great ones can express and share empathy, and empathy is what we are all seeking in our friendships, our art, our spirituality. Someone or something that can put into words what we knew we were feeling but couldn’t quite express.

And empathy never comes from the good days.

So don’t wait for the good days to do something good. Don’t squander the pain, mistake, heartbreak, depression, sickness, boredom, frustration, or failure just in order to “get over it” quickly. It could be the greatest gift you have to give.

I won’t go so far to say you should “rejoice in your suffering”…but maybe I’m finally starting to understand that phrase a bit more.


Goodbye, sweet Cooper.
-TWM

How the Irish Saved Entertaining...for me

This St. Patrick's Day, I am going to honor my husband and relatives living in the Emerald Isle by passing on the secret to their famous hospitality- a secret that has saved me countless hours of work and anxiety, and countless dollars (or Euros) in grocery bills.

The Irish are famous for their hospitality because they never make it about themselves- only about being glad to see you.

When you are received into an Irish home, it is warmly and without apology about the mess, decor, or lack of space. Until the 1980's, no one in Ireland had any room to spare that could be designated for "entertaining", so you simply cleared off the papers from the kitchen table and pulled up chairs.

And when you sit down at that kitchen table, you are immediately offered 3 things, and usually 3 things only: tea, cookies, and sandwiches.

Heaven.

No cooking, no waiting, no scurrying around. Right there, plopped on the table, is a teapot, some milk (you must, must accept milk in your tea...otherwise you'll look like an ignorant Yank), cookies (usually store-bought), and a plate of sandwiches, cut into fourths, that you just grab and stuff into your mouth.

Irish entertaining is hospitality at its purest. By it's very nature, it can't be about your home, your fabulous cooking, your obvious effort...it's just about the conversation and the joy of being together. No ego involved.

Your host actually enjoys herself, and talks to you the entire time without scurrying around the kitchen. You can sit for hours talking, actually enjoying yourself, because there's never the feeling of putting anyone out.

This menu is appropriate for any time of the day, any day of the year.

So, today as you remember your green and your Guiness, also remember to pick up a box of tea (Barry's Gold Blend Irish Tea is our favorite, found in World Market and some grocery stores), some good cookies (Cadbury's are acceptable), and basic sandwich fare, and you will be truly ready to offer Irish hospitality at its best.

-TWM